The Gantt Report
By Lucius Gantt
I have more than a few friends that love the Cat Life. They love to chase but I encourage them to take some time to get to know the feline.
You see, a lot of cats have more than one suitor. Don’t take my word for it, any honest female will tell you a cat has someone to talk to, someone to go out to dinner or a movie with, someone to go to the gala or ball with, someone to dance with, someone that she can laugh with, someone to introduce to mom and dad and perhaps others.
But the main male that the cat loves to see and spend time with is “the designated hitter”!
When a cat heats up and feels a little fresh and freaky, she’s not going to mess around with a pretender. When it’s time for a hit, every cat wants to be hit the right way. She wants to “glow”. She wants the kind of hit that she will remember forever!
Yes, every guy has a tool but not every guy knows how to work with his equipment. You’ve heard the saying, “It’s not what you got, it’s how you work with it.”
The designated hitter is an expert at foreplay. He communicates with the cat and compliments the cat. The designated hitter is a master at pillow talk and is not afraid to eat as much cat food as he can eat.
Only an all-pro hitter can make the hairs on a cat tail stand straight up. The designated hitter knows when to touch, where to touch and how to softly caress the cat.
Cats will always remember who made her paws curl, her eyes shine and made her moisture flow like a tsunami!
The designated hitter wants to focus on his job. He doesn’t want to chit chat about what went down at the cat office, he’s not interested in when the next weave, wig, lash or nail appointment is. He likes the cat friends but doesn’t want to discuss them when he’s taking care of business. The designated hitter wants you to discuss the kid’s needs with the baby daddy.
A designated hitter stays ready! He will “knock it out of the park” in his house, in the cat house, in the park, in the car or anywhere else that cat wants to be hit.
Even though the designated hitter may be the quiet type, he is a good listener. However, when it is time to make a statement, he can make the cat scream so loud, her neighbors will know his name!
A cat only needs one designated hitter. Any guy can hit, some need medication, but it’s the performance, not the pill that the cat will celebrate.
Cats need to be just as selective as the cat chasers. The guys that run their mouths about being great hitters can’t even get into the game.
That revenge hit or that vulnerable hit is not as memorable as that planned hit on a romantic day in a romantic location with a romantic atmosphere.
Cats, take your time deciding who you want your designated hitter to be. I hope he is a hubby or a boyfriend, but he doesn’t have to be. The D-H should be someone you trust, respect and enjoy.
Lucius is a contributing columnist to NNPA newspapers around the nation, and the author of “Beast Too: Dead Man Writing,” available on Amazon.com and from bookstores everywhere.