Yo Ho Ho and Happy Kwanzaa

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“Merry Christmas,” I yelled out as I walked into the diner.
“Merry Christmas,” came back and for a moment I was surprised at the number of people who were there.  Heck it was Christmas morning, after all.  I guess old habits die hard.

“What are you people doing here on Christmas morning?”  I asked.  “I figured the place would be empty except for Uncle G– and he’s not even here.”
“You talking about my home life?”  Uncle G suddenly appeared, coming out of the restroom wiping his hands on one of those huge pocket kerchiefs he carries everywhere.
“Don’t you be trying to talk my customers into going home,” Shirley chided me as she walked by.  “Because everybody
here’s been naughty, not nice.” She threw an intentionally flirtatious look in my direction, and said:  “You been naughty, too?”
“Yep, no presents at home under the tree for me,” Slick Rick said, raising his glass in a kind of salute.
“What’re you drinking, Rick?” I asked, curious because it seemed to me that he kind of slurred his words.  “It’s not even noon yet.”
“Naw, but it’s pretty damn close,” he said, convincing me his egg nog was spiked. “Oops, sorry,” he said when he saw the frown on Shirley’s face.”
“I’ve been trying to be naughty all week,” I told Shirley, “but you wouldn’t call me back.”
“Ouch,” Fat Mack managed to say around a huge spoonful of grits.
“Aw, poor thing,” Shirley said over her shoulder, with a coquettish smile.
“How about a Happy Kwanzaa for the people who don’t do Santa Claus?”  Little Willie said.  Really loud.
“Happy Kwanzaa!” the whole diner shouted back, in almost perfect unison.
“You good now?”  I smiled.
“Yeah, I’m good,” he laughed, and moved over to let me scoot into the booth.  Uncle G was whispering to Shirley, and Fat Mack was shoveling food.
“What’s wrong with a little ‘Peace on earth, good will towards men?”  Fat Mack asked.
Uncle G said “Mack, the boy is a Muslim.”  Willie shook his head and rolled his eyes, but he knows Uncle G calls every male of the species “boy.”  He doesn’t mean anything by it.
I groaned on the inside.  Oh, oh.  Here we go.  Then Little Willie said, “Hey, it’s Christmas.  I don’t celebrate it, but I appreciate it.”  He reached over and forked one of Mack’s five turkey patties.
“Merry Christmas,” he said to Mack as he plopped the patty into his mouth.
“Happy Kwanzaa,” Mack said with a big grin.
From all of us to all of you:  Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, and Best  Wishes for a Great New Year!